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BREAKING:
Constant Conjecturer Clipped From Costcodle League? What We Know So Far
by Shark Aeopteryx | Published: Fri 09 May 2025, 03:00 UTC-4
IN PERHAPS ONE OF THE most shocking, yet somehow also most expected events of a turbulent season, the struggling Al Amogus (also known variously throughout his career as Tony Snell, Kyle Kuzma, The Jokah, and Costcodle Air Bud) appears to have been unceremoniously dropped from the Sailer Squad Costcodle League, as of Thursday night.
A veteran of the league, Al had been playing Costcodle for some time on a basis best described as "casual." League Commissioner Morgan once had hopes of raising Al's numbers through judicious use of a rigorous daily training program. But in recent days, their patience seems to have cooled as Al, who has yet to rawdog Costco, continued to fumble on the court and utilize a variety of unpopular clock-running tactics to buy time.
While Al recently found a modicum of success with his unconventional "in my mouth" (IMM) guessing strategy, and despite hopes that the nearly-complete new gym would offer a better training environment, it's evident that this comeback attempt might be a case of too yellow arrow up, too late.
Late Thursday night, after Al scored a rare 2/6 on 2.5 lbs of Thick Jameses with an assist from league superstar Mint Chamberlain, Commissioner Morgan gave Al the traditional reward for a job…technically done: Another job, in the form of 4 pounds of Kerbey Lane Cafe Buttermilk Pancake Mix. The once-dead player argued that this challenge went beyond the bounds of his contract, and the tense discussion that followed allowed rising star pocketghosts "ghost" lilguy to dunk with $7.99.
In the ensuing presser, Commissioner Meowgan claimed Al had "packed his bags and now plays for a different Costcodle League," presumably the Guangdong Southern Tigers, which they had previously mentioned. When asked if this was a result of the earlier contract dispute, Morgan denied seeing the existence of a contract at all, implying that the transfer had already gone through.
It's yet unclear whether this will be a permanent move, but for the time being, it seems that Al will have to practice his Cantonese as well as his Costcodese to turn this red arrow incident into a green check.
* This is currently marked as a developing story.